sábado, 19 de septiembre de 2015

25 conversation starters that make me turn around and leave

I try not to be an asshole, but I have turned into an angry old man who constantly thinks about how my time could be put to better use. I have a lot to do/see/accomplish/listen to/write/read, and engaging in nonsense is something I'm just not willing to do any more. So, here are 25 conversation starters that make me immediately start ignoring someone, turn around, and walk away:

1. I'm not a racist, but...
2. I'm not a homophobe, but...
3. I'm not a misogynist, but...
4. I learned on NPR...
5. I was at Whole Foods/Trader Joe's getting some organic kale...
6. The new Iggie Azalea/Nicki Minaj/Usher/Jidenna is the best...
7. The problem with immigration is... 
8. At my frat house...
9. Cultural appropriation and cooptation don't really exist because...
10. Poor people are poor because...
11. The Bible says...
12. I'm not a fan of books...
13. I support Trump because...
14. Dudes with man-buns are hot...
15. We were vaping and...
16. Horror/crime sucks because...
17. If you haven't seen _________, something's fucking wrong with you...
18. You really shouldn't eat meat because...
19. Abortion should be illegal because...
20. This fucking feminazi...
21. This bitch was so fucking hot...
22. Have you read James Patterson' latest?
23. I hate Mexican food...
24. Let me tell you something you don't know...
25. Black Lives Matter is stupid/racist because...

There are many more, but those 25 should be enough to make my point: I have no time for your bullshit. Have a nice day!